September 10, 2007
Alright, this is getting ridiculous
It is time for *somebody* to brand this dang goat we have hanging around! He's eating all the grass, taking out teams from both coasts, and needs a little talking to.
To support this effort, we've decided to start our "Brand the Goat" campaign. Let's put our stamp on these folks and call it a day.
Goat. Tastes like chicken!
This is going to be no easy task. This Goat is slippery.
And we all know how randy goats are. This Goat likes to score! A plus-14 goal differential? Aye Dios Mio! We're going to need to convince him to keep it in his pants. Petke, we're looking for you to be the GoatMaster for the evening.
Many of us have Maykel Galindo on our fantasy soccer teams, but it's time to put that guy in negative territory for the week. In fact, I'm removing him right now!
We also need to muck out the dang stall, put the goat back in his pen, and get him to stop eating up the turf like it's going out of style. I suggest keeping Klejstan behind the barn doors, and spending more time showing Brad "El Guzano" the American player how to get into the back of his net.
Ultimately, we need to press aggressively against this Goat's forward line. They move up like a swarm of goat lice, spread out in formation, and then blast through confused back lines like Germans marching through a forest of French Vichy sympathizers!
Ouch! I think I strained my brain on that last one, so I'll leave it to all y'all to come up with more thoughts on how to humanely kill the goat.
Posted by BilFish at September 10, 2007 08:28 AM